Kelly Corrigan:Have you ever heard that potted plant theory? Kelly Corrigan:The magic of Tell me more is you start telling me what youre upset about, and I fall for the first thing you say, and I start solving for that. It was because I had been selfish, and my dad caught me. What do we do when the labels we're given aren't necessarily the ones we choose for ourselves? Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. I mean so far, knock on wood, Im getting to see my kids be much, much older than she got to see her kids be. The result is "Think Twice: Michael Jackson," a 10-part podcast from Audible and Wondery that will be available exclusively on Audible and Amazon Music on Thursday. Team Everything Happens, Kate, Ask anyone who has participated in a moment of silence. And you know, it was so weird, but dying was the easier part of it. Kate Bowler:Yeah. Each episode ends with a special Plus One segment, in which guests are invited to thank those that have supported them along their journey. I was wrong. Kilpy You cant live in that. Tomorrow, March 28, 2023 would have been his 40th birthday. I heard your friend died, and I just couldnt bear to call them back. Kelly Corrigan:I didnt die. The space between doubt and belief is often unpopular, but the tension can be held. I mean, that means shes with them. Then I wanted to get right with him, and urgently. We had several hamsters in one cage, and they can be cannibalistic, and one morning a hamster was missing, and another hamster had a suspiciously large tummy. She plans to give it to her daughter, who graduates from high school in June.. Kate Bowler:You are someone who has gotten mixed up in all kinds of things, and I am so glad to know you. This is me writing a letter to Liz, and I wrote the whole thing, and I cried my eyes out the whole time I was writing it, and wiping my nose, and blowing my nose, and sitting back down, and Edwards like, You all right? And Im like, Im all right. Kelly Corrigan:Like, almost every time Im sure that if you just let me take over, I can make this problem go away. So, I just really went bananas, because on top of the shirt problem, I went downstairs to clean the kitchen, and I found everybodys bowls, and spoons, and cups, and I had that reaction that so many women have, which is, Well I guess Im the least busy. If you love the episode, please share and review. I go, Oh, thank you for that bit of suggestion.. Thanks for sharing. Theyre poking for that critical difference to hold on to, and I wanna hug em, and say, I know. I go, Oh, thank you for that bit of suggestion.. Its probably cause of something youve been eating. Im sorry to ask about the hard part, but would you mind telling me what happened? -Kilpy Kate Bowler:Yeah. Kelly shares her own go to mantra as well as two blessings from frequent Kelly Corrigan Wonders guest Kate Bowler and her co-author/friend/podcast producer Jessica Richies beautiful and extremely useful book: The Lives We Actually Have (100 Blessings for Imperfect Days). Kate Bowler:Yeah, I believe you. Kindly, For Dr. White was the first person who ever told Michael he could write. She died this morning, and I was just sick to my stomach. Mary Hope wrote this thoughtful, open-hearted letter to her community to introduce her son Alex - who had previously been known to all as Jenna, her daughter. Kilpy Its a very learned thing that I have to insert the words into my mouth, and push them out deliberately, because my instinct is to solve. Kate Bowler:I dont think Ill like it, but I will think of you when I do it. Kelly Corrigan:Theyre never going to not do that, and thats how theyre going to raise their kids, and that means shes still here. The reach of language can be laughable.. Use one of the services below to sign in to PBS: You've just tried to add this video to My List. The things we tell ourselves and each other are so important, arent they? Maybe you want to borrow one of Kellys like, Its like this, but youre totally welcome to borrow my familys motto: Dont let the turkeys get you down. Its tried and true. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah, and theres forgiveness and acceptance kind of intertwined there that you know, youre going to forget. Kelly Corrigan:Have you ever heard that potted plant theory? This is the way this has to be, and its right there. It was the very last thing that I wrote, and you may be able to relate to this, theres always one part of a book that writes itself, at least for me, where its like, I guess Ive been thinking about this long enough, I guess Ive been living this long enough that its all kind of been subconsciously forming, and now Im just about taking dictation here, and thats the way that was. Absolutely enjoy these, the wisdom, the calm, the gentle reminder of our true reality and the essentiality of the connections we make and need to survive and help each other. Kellys guest is actress and author Constance Wu - you may know her from her roles in the breakthrough tv show Fresh Off the Boat and the blockbuster film Crazy, Rich Asians. Im sorry I didnt go see your mom. Thats not the same as saying I was wrong not to try to know her. I mean, its a little bit like, Just keep saying yes. You know, When in doubt, say Sure, Ill do that, just to see what happens next, just to see who you might meet. We were living in Damascus, Syria, and whenever one of us asked for something Mom and Dad couldnt afford, Dad would say Allah Kareem. In Arabic, Allah means God. I even use it at the end of lectures like, Hey, this is the end of the 19th century. A witty, insightful podcast in search of the big "Yes!" The gap between being inspired and entertained just got smaller. Kelly Corrigan Wonders on Apple Podcasts 296 episodes Welcome to Kelly Corrigan Wonders, a place for people who like to laugh while they think and find it useful to look closely at ourselves and our weird ways in the hopes that knowing more and feeling more will help us do more and be better. Kelly Corrigan:My friend Andy Lotts, who is Lizs husband, told me about it, cause hes a mom now, and so we talk mom talk. Im so glad youve been plugging in and hope to keep hearing your feedback! Kelly Corrigan:So, my dad died in February, and then my friend Liz, whos the mother of three kids, 8, 10, and 12 at the time, died that December. She lives in Philly and I live in California. I loved this episode! This is the way this has to be, and its right there. Thats like total vanity but, especially with the kids, I definitely think, Edward and I both think, If you let us run this out for you, well get it done like one, two, three, and thats so humiliating, and degrading, and just the opposite of self-esteem building, which is sort of like the ground we walk on as adults. So, maybe when life is chronic, we all need some sayings to anchor us, our very own mottos that guide us through. Forever? He had things to do for days, and days, and days, and eulogies to write, and people to hug, and people to thank, and accounts to close, and cars to sell, and he had work to do, both emotional and just literally logistics. Claire, Adjust the colors to reduce glare and give your eyes a break. And she said, Kelly, Im going to try to do the Uber to this wedding, and I was wondering if you can request a woman, and I said, No you cant, but you can trust it. This is an amazing story. I just want to show up and try to be of use. Then cancer hit. Im sorry I didnt go see your mom. Thats not the same as saying I was wrong not to try to know her. I mean, maybe I was projecting, maybe whatever he said in that moment, maybe if he had said peanut butter, and jelly, wed be talking about peanut butter and jelly, but it totally resonated for me in the way that a song lyric does where youre like, I dont know what that means exactly, but Im going to write that down, and put it in my wallet, and its interesting. You know, I honestly think I only say Im sorry, and not, I was wrong. I think I might try it. Thats the word. Thanks for sharing, Diane! Stay healthy. Its probably cause of something youve been eating. Then the ocean with its waves so vast, impossible to touch bottom, then a maze, then a mountain, then seasons, a natural disaster. Despair defies description. Im hearing all the music, Im totally tuned in to the right channel, and then just like that, I slip into those mundane irritants., Kelly Corrigan:And then I catch myself, and then I feel this sense of shame, and he said, Its like this. Its going to be great. You are everywhere they are., Kelly Corrigan:I really believe that, even though Im skeptical, and Im mad at people who say, Her spirits still here, and stuff. Im coming. Team Everything Happens. Alex, Read more about this episode, and get show notes, here. So, I grew up with this sentence with my fathers voice in my head saying, Allah Kareem, God is generous., Cheryl:Our family motto is, Dont eat a hamster. Kelly Corrigan:My friend Andy Lotts, who is Lizs husband, told me about it, cause hes a mom now, and so we talk mom talk. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. Inspiring and thought-provoking interviews conducted by author Kelly Corrigan. Kelly Corrigan:Ah, it was so terrible. We had several hamsters in one cage, and they can be cannibalistic, and one morning a hamster was missing, and another hamster had a suspiciously large tummy. You might actually give somebody a chance to discover whats really bothering them, and in that discovery they might find their own solution, but the fact is that if you can bite your stupid tongue, and get over yourself, and just keep eliciting their whole story, then the next thing you know, their mood is changing, and theyre feeling more solution-oriented, and then they get the buzz of solving the problem. I always asked her this when I wondered if I was handsome in any way. You know, like it wasnt me. Im so grateful to hear the ways youre connecting with Kate and Kelly. Kate, Kelly Corrigan Wonders: Everything Happens for a - Apple Podcasts This is me writing a letter to Liz, and I wrote the whole thing, and I cried my eyes out the whole time I was writing it, and wiping my nose, and blowing my nose, and sitting back down, and Edwards like, You all right? And Im like, Im all right. Kelly Corrigan:Thanks. Her teams look to her for direction, but she wanted to see what would happen if she paused more to ask them questions, and found it totally changed her approach to both her work and family life. Please note that this episode references addiction and suicide. You might actually give somebody a chance to discover whats really bothering them, and in that discovery they might find their own solution, but the fact is that if you can bite your stupid tongue, and get over yourself, and just keep eliciting their whole story, then the next thing you know, their mood is changing, and theyre feeling more solution-oriented, and then they get the buzz of solving the problem. It doesnt end, and also you cant live there. So, God is generous was my dads way of promising us a better future. Duration: 3:0 Transcript HARI SREENIVASAN: Now to another in our Brief But Spectacular. In other words, it could happen to you tomorrow.. Surely, my friend, my lost and lovely friend, called for new words. Kate Bowler:Yeah. You also realized there was incredible parenting magic in the phrase, Tell me more. So, what is this witchcraft you speak of? Read more on this here. Weeks later, the missing hamster crawled out from under the stove. She's an author. Gratefully, This is one of the most moving and important conversations weve ever shared and we thank PBS for supporting this work as well as the Lafayette Library and Learning Center for hosting the shoot. Its cancer inflammatory breast cancer, with a twenty percent chance of living to five years. Kelly Corrigan:Now maybe Im going to go to Durham, and now maybe Im going to get my PhD in Divinity. Inspiring and thought-provoking interviews conducted by bestselling author Kelly Corrigan. Enjoy an intimate and heartfelt interview series hosted by author Kelly Corrigan. Tell Me More - Kate Bowler You wrote this book in a season of incredible loss. Kate Bowler:Yeah, the indignity. Onward, my dears. Sadly, our family motto was, Youll pass in a crowd if the crowds big enough. My mothers mother didnt want her to get a swelled head, and she passed that down to us, her four daughters. That kind of belonging is transcendent, and you just feel it pop up in these little moments. Kelly Corrigan:She cant wear half her clothes because she cant zip them by herself. What a unique family motto! Kelly Corrigan:My instinct is to fix, cause I feel Im almost sure I can. I didnt engage with her. I love it that it gives up perfectionism, and it just says, Hey, whats possible today?. You surely know about hard times, and I love that you are continuing to show up every day. Kelly Corrigan:Like, Oh, well we still have sex, so were definitely not going to get a divorce, or you know, Oh my husband doesnt travel, so then were definitely not gonna get a divorce, or you know, I never smoked cigarettes, so Im definitely not going to get breast cancer. Our guest is Kelly Corrigan, a best-selling author and host of PBS talk show Tell Me More and podcast Kelly Corrigan Wonders. An Evening with Kelly Corrigan EVENT PAGE - Lightways I guess everybody here, these children of mine and my husband, are just too damn busy to get on this, but Im not, so Ill do it, and then I was finishing, and I found a little pile of cut toenails on my kitchen table, and that. Kelly Corrigan:Youre feeling like ABC, not DEF. So thats the beauty of it. Each episode in Season 5 of "Tell Me More" will leave you hopeful and with a few more tools in your kit to craft the life you want. I was wrong not to go visit her. Rocky is family, and we dont sell family, I replied. Kate Bowler:Im Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. One of the hardest things Ive been wrestling with is not having any clear language for this weird place between sick and healthy, weak and strong. I went to see her one time. Its like this now seems like a helpful way to process changethanks for offering that up . I mean, maybe I was projecting, maybe whatever he said in that moment, maybe if he had said peanut butter, and jelly, wed be talking about peanut butter and jelly, but it totally resonated for me in the way that a song lyric does where youre like, I dont know what that means exactly, but Im going to write that down, and put it in my wallet, and its interesting. For what Ive just seen in the last six months, I should be different. Kelly Corrigan:Youre feeling like ABC, not DEF. So thats the beauty of it. The Best Show is the best live podcast you're ever gonna hear! She died this morning, and I was just sick to my stomach. That sounds really right to me. Were just a series of days and interactions. Corrigan, a New York Times bestselling author, gives her Brief But Spectacular take on the power of words. The idea that any day could be this huge day, I dont know, that really gets me out of bed, you know? Michael Lewis on What Makes Some People Irreplaceable. Kate Bowler:Those ordinary consonants and vowels that, when strung together, offer meaning and points of entry for others. Tell Me More with Kelly Corrigan | PBS Kelly Corrigan:I mean, thats where it is. The voice memos at the end of the episode are from listeners like you! Del Seymour and Kelly Corrigan in Lafayette, CA. Kate Bowler:So, todays conversation is about developing language to move us forward when life is well, chronic. Kelly Corrigan:Theyre never going to not do that, and thats how theyre going to raise their kids, and that means shes still here. He is also the father to three great characters, including Dixie, who was killed in a head on collision in May of 2021. Kate Bowler:Yeah, yeah, yeah. For our weekly dose of wonder, NPR learns about glorious sounds chicken make at a very important moment in their . Ive read Tell Me More twice already. I mean, people are getting colon cancer at your age all the time. PBS is a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization. Hes just one of those people that you think, God, if I could get five minutes with him, Id just tell him my biggest problem, and hed just say something in seven words that would solve everything., Kelly Corrigan:So, eventually I went up to him, and I said, Im caught between these two worlds, this world where Im full of clarity and insight and gratitude, and Im seeing all the big colors of the world. Together, Kate and Kelly explore the phrases we cling to in order to find deeper connection and meaning during difficult times. Embed. Shed do anything. Just get in the mix, get in the line of fire. Best, Kelly Corrigan:Where you can feel the person kind of asking around, snooping just enough, and its not for your sake. Ask anyone who has participated in a moment of silence. I was so mad that I shook the cage a bit, that hamster eating its sibling. Your mantra is fantastic and is sounds like it has served you well through the years! What do you do when life doesnt fit into neat categories? Plus, we learn how the same technique can actually reduce racism and prejudice. Enjoy an intimate and heartfelt interview series hosted by author Kelly Corrigan.MoreMore. CW: death of parent, death of friend to cancer. I mean, people are getting colon cancer at your age all the time. Kelly Corrigan Wonders on Apple Podcasts I was wrong not to try to know her, and I could just see it in his face that it was like, Okay, you understand. Diane, Okay. Kelly Corrigan:The magic of Tell me more is you start telling me what youre upset about, and I fall for the first thing you say, and I start solving for that. Hosted by four-time New York Times bestselling author Kelly Corrigan, the show features insightful conversations with notable guests, reflecting on their lives and the impact they can have on their worlds. It just ends the tension because what youre saying is, I see it how you see it, and I agree with you. Kelly kicks off a new series on BELIEF, delving into topics like the meaning of life, finding purpose, why faith, service and gratitude matter, and more with Dr. MIchael Murray, former Philosophy Professor and current President & CEO of the Arthur Vining Davis Foundations . 5-Minute Listen. I didnt engage with her. Kate Bowler:Yeah. Its a very learned thing that I have to insert the words into my mouth, and push them out deliberately, because my instinct is to solve. Surely, my friend, my lost and lovely friend, called for new words. Minds dont rest. Kelly Corrigan:Hearts dont idle. Kelly Corrigan:Well you know, sometimes the trivial is tragic. Oh, The People You'll Know!. Graduations, diminished though they may She had ovarian cancer, so she had fought it for seven years, and it was the kind of thing where I felt like I urgently wanted to deserve my life. Kelly Corrigan:And he said, Thats a way to be a parent, which is to say to be there, to be available, to be within view, but not necessarily inserting yourself, because even though as your kids get older and older, it feels like theyre looking for you less and less, it is sort of a comfort to glance over, and see you there, and feel you there, and they would most certainly notice if you werent. Kelly Corrigan:So, I say at the end of this chapter, Shouldnt loss change a person for the better? Make the magic happen. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. Thats where its at. So, God is generous was my dads way of promising us a better future. It just ends the tension because what youre saying is, I see it how you see it, and I agree with you. Minds dont rest. I think people think that if you have a diagnosis, or somethings happened to you that you should know because youre proof of it. Its not in my family. Allison Wohl: A Toast Women | Faith & Story On days when I feel overwhelmed, I tell myself all I need to do is maintain the faith and exit with grace. Im hearing all the music, Im totally tuned in to the right channel, and then just like that, I slip into those mundane irritants., Kelly Corrigan:And then I catch myself, and then I feel this sense of shame, and he said, Its like this. I love your book and your honesty as I keep questioning everything. Kelly mentions the Potted Plant Theory of Parenting. Is this how you would have cared for my son?, and you end up fixating on all of these tiny little things, and at the same time, so overwhelmed by not being sure if its trivial or tragic. I mean, that was my big experience of your book. Kate Bowler:Yeah, I believe you. I mean, I remember thinking, when I wasnt sure, when I was in an especially tough moment of illness, every time I would look at Zachs nails I would think, Is this what wouldve happened if I hadnt been here to do this? Kelly Corrigan:You dont always need such a plan, or an agenda, or whatever. Okay, but Im just telling you those kids are waking up every day without her, and theyre going to keep being without her forever. I said, No, I just want to go back to Vietnam and do what I was doing. 00:35:25 - Annie Jean Baptiste in the Head of Product Inclusion at Google where she spends her time thinking about the products we use very day and how who's a At a time when so much feels unex Kate Bowler: I'm Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. They swell, and constrict, and break, and forgive, and behold, because its like this, having a heart. Kelly Corrigan Wonders: Kelly's Gratitude List on Apple Podcasts Maybe Wills curious phrase, Its like this, applies here too. Now, eleven years post-cancer, Im still learning to show up and be of use in my life, my marriage, my family and my work for the display of His splendor. What do we do when the labels were given arent necessarily the ones we choose for ourselves? You dont have to bring it all. Kelly Corrigan:Where you can feel the person kind of asking around, snooping just enough, and its not for your sake. Kate Bowler:Oh friend. Kilpy Jennifer Garner tells Kelly Corrigan how she inspires others to find their true passions. But the fact is if I said, Tell me more, go on, what else, youd say the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing, and it would be like the thing behind the thing, behind the thing is where really the pain is, and if I had waited way longer, I wouldve been able to say, Oh, I understand.. Being a runner, this has always been meaningful for me. Despair defies description. Both Kate and Kelly are remarkable women and in tandem they make for great listening. They hate it. Jewel and Kelly Corrigan have a conversation in NYC. Constance Wu and Kelly Corrigan in Lafayette, CA. Constance Wu also thanks a past educator of hers, Mr. Frizzle. Touching on themes like self-belief, resilience, humility, and justice, this series normalizes the human condition and emphasizes our capacity to grow. This forgetting, this slide into smallness, this irritability in shame, this disorienting grief Its like this. I went into this tiny bathroom in Baltimore in our office building, and just cried my eyes out, and it wasnt even because she died. Youre going to slide around, you know, youre going to deserve your life a little more some days than others. Like, Today could be this day, well, you know, today I met you, now were friends, and who knows whats going to happen now? For what Ive just seen in the last six months, I should be different. I didnt make her final days one bit better, and I lived there for two years. Kilpy We read and appreciate every comment. I was wondering if you could tell me about that. We look forward to having you join in on future conversations! Theres a whole world out there happening, and you can step into all kinds of things, and you dont need to know why youre leaving the house. Kilpy Kelly Corrigan Full Transcript - Kate Bowler Everything Happens with Kate Bowler Kelly Corrigan: Tell Me More 30 00:00:00 30 Read more about this episode, and get show notes, here. Kelly has also agreed to be my friend as part of her contractual commitment to this podcast. Corrigan and her guests dig into such questions as "Is knowing more always . Kate Bowler:I do think people offer certainties when they think that youre proof of something that scares them, and they cant just live in the uncertainty of not knowing for a minute. Thanks for the rebellion and the reminder that we as women take up space, take risks, and even make mistakes! Im so compassionate to that thing that happens every time you tell someone that you had cancer, which is the other person trying to figure out why its not going to happen to them as fast as possible. Kate Bowler:Wow, and thats a big word. Kelly has also agreed to be my friend as part of her contractual commitment to this podcast. Team Everything Happens, Kate, I love that youre human- that you cry as easily as I do and that you say youre not normal as often as I do (me about myself of course!). After a College Applicant Hits 'Send' - The New York Times You start with, Its like this.. Kate Bowler:My life doesnt exactly fit into neat categories anymore. I rebelled. You talk about not having good language for your current state. Thats where relationship lives is in these tiny moments, and whether you are cognizant of that and tuned into that channel all the time, or not, that is the story of a relationship. My mantra for the last decade plus has been show up and be of use. Gratefully, The name is a lyric from . Kate Bowler:Yeah. They thrill, and confound, and circle, and overflow, and disappear, because its like this, having a life.. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Such is a reminder that success is the result of joined efforts and that all of us are touched by the ripples of others contributions. Required fields are marked *. Kelly Corrigan:Now maybe Im going to go to Durham, and now maybe Im going to get my PhD in Divinity. Episode 3: How to Fall in Love with Anyone - Greater Good Mahra:Ive been singing these lines from a song by the Avett Brothers to my kids for years, and it goes like this. Then the ocean with its waves so vast, impossible to touch bottom, then a maze, then a mountain, then seasons, a natural disaster. You wrote about the end of words. Yeah. For every graduate from kindergarten to PhDs -- but especially the kids We should thank the chef. Kelly Corrigan:But you know, if Im jumping in with my fancy solution two and a half minutes in, I just cut you off, and then we leave each other, and I have this little high like, Ah, I just really helped her, and she walks away thinking, She didnt hear anything I said.
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