Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. -Jensen Ackles, In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans. -Kelly Clarkson, Texans aint Texans if they arent willing to boast about the state they call home. ~Anon, Texans ignored better, long ago forgot the useless word good. Everything in Texas is best. ~Edward Smith, You can take the girl out of Texas but not Texas out of the girl. Anybody who wanders around the world saying, Hell yes, Im from Texas, deserves whatever happens to him. Hunter S. Thompson, the journalist, The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. -Senator William Blakley, Ill be somewhere down in Texas if youre lookin for me. I wrestle with these questions all the time. A version of this article appears in our 2019. -Cherie Priest, Texans aint Texans if they arent willing to boast about the state they call home. It proclaims them. I feel sorry for you. Hell eat anything that dont eat him first pretty self-explanatory! The general store, the hat: the line between the myth of Texas and the reality of Texas is razor-thin. Manny Fernandez, Dont mess with Texas. Texas Department of Transportation, Id heard about Texas football and how much of a religion it is, but to go to Odessa and experience it first-hand is something different than just hearing about it. Jay Hernandez. Some sayings are instantly familiar because our parents or grandparents quoted them; others parallel the indisputable wisdom of biblical proverbs or Poor Richards Almanac; plenty just make us laugh. Ive traveled all over the world, but I dont think there is any place better than Texas. Red Adair, No place like Texas would I ever roam. It moves into you. Manny Fernandez, As a Texan and a country music fan, I didnt learn George Strait songs; I knew them the same way I know English. Jack Ingram, Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. Sam Houston, Id heard about Texas football and how much of a religion it is, but to go to Odessa and experience it first-hand is something different than just hearing about it. Jay Hernandez. Sweet friend, may the joy you bring to others find you as you celebrate your birthday. I thought it was a joke. Editors note: This article was first published in print in 1994. 4. I got treated very badly in Texas. What do they tell us about America? September 23, 2021; by Victoria Hudgins; Inside: Happy 28th Birthday Quotes + Captions. Funny Quotes on Birthday. His breaths so strong you could hang out the washing on it. MR. SPOCK. Im madder than a wet hen! A genuine authenticity comes to mindyall have such vibrant silly energy, the culture is rich and everyone from locals to Winter Texans always seems to be in good spirits. Just a small serving. Got any more Texas sayings, quotes, expressions, or slogans you like? Handy as sliced bread.Handy as shirt pockets.Handy as a latch on the outhouse door. 15. 7. He could talk the legs off a chair.He could talk the gate off its hinges.He could talk the hide off a cow.He could talk the ears off a mule.He shoots off his mouth so much he must eat bullets for breakfast.Hes got a ten-gallon mouth.She speaks ten words a second, with gusts to fifty.Her tongue is plumb tuckered.Shes got tongue enough for ten rows of teeth.She beats her own gums to death.He blew in on his own wind.Hes a live dictionary.Hes a chin musician.She has a bell clapper instead of a tongue.He was vaccinated with a Victrola needle. Don't mess with Texas. -Carl Sandburg, Texas is like a beckoning star to American settlers. -Pete Hamill, Texas is a blend of valor and swagger. Indeed, it's the friendliest way to say "Happy Birthday.". to say youre experienced at something. The sky is the limit for you. Hes overdrawn at the memory bank. Here's to another year of pretending we have our lives together. I feel lower than a gopher hole.I feel so low I couldnt jump off a dime.She eats sorrow by the spoonful.You look like you were sent for and couldnt go.Sad enough to bring a tear to a glass eye.He looks like the cheese fell off his cracker. 1. Happy Birthday to the most lovable and adorable star on this planet. Best birthday, cutie! She oversees the magazines travel and style sections. She also released several albums during the period 2003-08. : Janine Turner, There is a special mystique to Texas. Discover Texan cities, small towns, and outdoor attractions. (Your flys down. Sweeter than stolen honey.Sweeter than babys breath.Sweeter than an old maids dream.He took to you like a hog to persimmons.He took to you like a fish to water.Happy as a boardinghouse pup.Happy as a clam at high tide.Happy as a hog in mud.Safe as Grannys snuffbox.Fair to middling.Pert as a cricket.Soft as a two-minute egg.All wool and a yard wide.Im cooking on a front burner today.If I felt any better, Id drop my harp plumb through the cloud.If I felt any better, Id think it was a setup.Fat and sassy.All sweetness and light.This is so good itll make childbirth a pleasure.Fine as frog fur.Fine as dollar cotton.Fine as boomtown silk.Fine as cream gravy.The porch light is always burning.Long as I got a biscuit, you got half. our birthday is October 26, 1886.) You don't know the Lone Star State until you've experienced Gruene Hall. "Country roads take me home to the place I belong.". Got a big hole in the fence. No hill for a stepper.Slick as a whistle.Easy as pie. )Dont get all het up about it.Theres a big difference between the ox and the whiffletree.Theres no tree but bears some fruit.Skin your own buffalo.You better throw a sop to the dogs.Dont squat on your spurs.Any mules tail can catch cockleburs.A drought usually ends with a flood.If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.A lean dog runs fast.The apple doesnt fall far from the tree. Happy birthday to someone who's wonderful in every way. The How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days star, 53, and . Todays Texas is exhilarating, exasperating, violent, charming, horrible, delightful, alive. Edna Ferber, There is a growing feeling that perhaps Texas is really another country, a place where the skies, the disasters, the diamonds, the politicians, the women, the fortunes, the football players are all bigger than anywhere else. Pete Hamill, Read next: Incredible Weekend Getaways in Texas, There is a special mystique to Texas. If I live to see your grandchildren, I'm going to tell them all the Birthday pranks we played on you every year. On your birthday, I promise to keep all your secrets, to flood you with gifts and never to miss a chance to make you smile. -James Michener. 16. If you get sick, injured, or have your stuff stolen, youll be happy to have the ability to pay for your medical bills or replace whats stolen or broken. Here are some of our favorite Texas quotes, Texas Instagram captions, and Lone Star sayings to make you fall deeper in love with Texas! For all the smiles you put on my face and the people around. The Texanist: Contemplating the Texas Exit. Now I hope all your wishes come true. I hope this year's aliens are friendlier. ". I'm so thankful you're in my life, and I hope you have a very special birthday! Anybody got a room? Keith Richards, You dont just move into Texas. hapy birthday greetings typography with ornament iilustration. He told them that for the past 50 years he had sprinkled a little gunpowder on his cereal each morning. Someone doesn't merely dieshe opens herself up a worm farm. It is a celebration of someone that is loved and greatly admired. Anybody who wanders around the world saying, Hell yes, Im from Texas, deserves whatever happens to him. Hunter S. Thompson, The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that its impossible to be insane in Texas. Malcolm McDowell. I like it here in Austin. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back. He hangs out more often than Mamas washing.Hes like a blisterhe doesnt show up till the works all done. (A hangover. It was the home of Tejano patriot Jose Antonio Navarro, who was influential in the fight for Texas' independence. Most Texans know about the references to the Lone Star State size in Texas quotes and sayings. May God smile on you and be gracious to you. Happy birthday, friend! honest. One day, behind a general store in Central Texas, a firearms instructor in a wide-brimmed cowboy hat reached for the butt of his holster as I approached him for an interview. "Birthdays are good for you. Let's set a date for cake this week. He blames everything on the weather or his raising.He got caught in his own loop.He came close to the dollar knife. Texas history for $200, Alex. - By Steven Wright. The Top 50 Texas BBQ Joints: 2021 Edition. The day you were born was the best day of my life. Y'all. Voltaire It takes a long time to become young. Getty A police officer walks outside of the closed Alamo on April 1, 2020 in downtown San Antonio, Texas, during a stay at home order amid the novel coronavirus outbreak. We also want to be the first people to greet you a Happy Birthday! These funny birthday quotes will put a smile on your face. She could start a fight in an empty house.Hed argue with a wooden Indian.She raised hell and stuck a chunk under it.Hes the only hell his mama ever raised.Hes got his tail up.Shes in a horn-tossing mood.Shes so contrary she floats up-stream.Shes dancing in the hog trough.Hell tell you how the cow ate the cabbage. A Great Day Bagso you can carry what you need with you (like your camera, snacks, water, sunscreen, cash, etc). 3. It was like Austin, Texas. Craig Ferguson, Read More: 25 Famous Quotes about Austin, Texas. -Markham Shaw Pyle, I highly enjoy the people down in that area. Texans represent many things to the uninitiated: We are bigger than life in our boots and Stetsons, rugged individualists whose two-steppin has achieved world-wide acclaim, and we were the first to define hospitality. Ann Richards. Were still figuring out how to spell tolerance. As welcome as an egg-sucking dog unwelcome. Happy Birthday For Him Happy Birthday Greetings Birthday Greeting Cards Birthday Gifts Birthday Messages Birthday Images Happy Birthday Harley Davidson Texas Independence Day Bday Quotes Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. -Jensen Ackles, Theres no better place than Texas to start over. John Connelly, In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans. Kelly Clarkson, I truly think Texans have more fun than the rest of the world. Tommy Tune, You can take the girl out of Texas, but not Texas out of the girl. Janine Turner. -John Gunther, Im so shook. You may remember fondly. Happy Birthday, my sugar lumps! There is a world of country to settle. 17 Fabulous Midwest Tourist Attractions You Need to See, How to Visit Camel Rock: A Popular Santa Fe Roadside Attraction Near Tesque, NM, 10 Places with Ancient Polygonal Walls Around the World that You Can Visit, How to Visit Playa Negra, Puerto Rico: Viequess Beautiful Black Sand Beach. All over the world, traveling Texans tend to identify as Texan rather than American, because, well, we get treated like celebrities when we do. ~Elizabeth Abrahamsen, A Texan outside of Texas is a foreigner. John Steinbeck, Ive traveled all over the world, but I dont think there is any place better than Texas. -Red Adair, Screw you, were from Texas. ~Ray Wylie Hubbard, Id rather be a fencepost in Texas, than the king of Tennessee. Chris Wall, No place like Texas would I ever roam. If hes not, why embarrass him by asking? Read Next:250 Inspirational Travel Quotes & Travel Instagram Captions. Happy Birthday. I'd be part of Texas folklore. -John Steinbeck. I have been a paying customer ofWorld Nomadsfor travel insurance for three years, and I happily recommend them. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. So crooked that if he swallowed a nail, hed spit up a corkscrew. All hat, no cattle. -Molly Ivins, The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. Rich, poor, Panhandle, Gulf, city, country, Texas is the obsession, the proper study, and the passionate possession of all Texans. John Steinbeck, Half of San Antonios population is of Mexican descent; the other half just eats that way. Mike Greenberg, If you really want to learn the attitude of how to handle risk, losing, and failure, go to San Antonio and visit the Alamo. On your birthday, I just want to remind you that you are the best person I have ever met in my whole life. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. No membership required. No place like Texas, my home, sweet home. Willie Nelson, And finally, the last and the best Texas quote yet. -James Michener, I like the image Texas brings to mindthat of bigness, of strength, of goodness. Texas is a blend of valor and swagger ~Carl Sandburg, There wouldnt be no Alamo, No Cowboys in the Superbowl No Lonesome Dove, no Yellow Rose, If it wasnt for Texas. George Strait, Im so shook. Hot will cool if greedy will let it.Take a tater and wait.Dont get your panties in a wad.Wash off your war paint. At 19, everything is possible, and tomorrow looks friendly. Oct 2, 2014 - Explore rosa hernandez's board "Texas birthday greetings" on Pinterest. Its better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.Thats close enough for government work.Might as well. Texas literally has a pledge they say every morning. Tight as Dicks hatband.Tight as a tick.Tight as a clothesline.Tight as a fiddle string.Tight as wallpaper.Tight as a wet boot.Tight enough to raise a blister.So tight he squeaks when he walks.Hell squeeze a nickel till the buffalo screams.She has short arms and deep pockets. -Ninfa Laurenzo. 500 matching entries found. Here are some fun quotes about Texas, yall! They hung the wrong horse thief. for when something goes wrong. Let us know below. Congratulations on surviving another year on this planet. Texan til I die need no translation, right. Happy birthday! In three days no one could stand him. Bernard M. Baruch It moves into you. ~Manny Fernandez. 800-810-1617 gograph@gograph.com; Login. How much we love you so. -Larry L. King, What do the Texans say? And what could possibly be a better way to talk about this state than discussing its funny Texas sayings, quotes, expressions, and jokes? I know that you'll attain more this year dear. If you grab enough Texas land, somethin' good is bound to happen. - Funny Birthday wishes. )Jugging and jawing.Commode-hugging, knee-walking drunk. But, few visitors know how to use it correctly. Happy birthday to a person who is smart, good looking, and funny and reminds me a lot of myself. Have a blast! Courtney Bond is an executive editor of Texas Monthlys Food & Drink and BBQ sections. He stays in the shadow of his mamas apron.If he was melted down, he couldnt be poured into a fight.Hes first cousin to Moses Rose.He wouldnt bite a biscuit.Hes yellow as mustard but without the bite.He may not be a chicken, but he has his henhouse ways. She is a strong Vanguard worth E2ing eventually for the gameplay gains as well. Lets light a shuck.Its time to heat up the bricks.Its time to put the chairs in the wagon.Its time to swap spit and hit the road.Its time to put out the fire and call in the dogs.Hes heading for the wagon yard.Lets blow this pop stand.That about puts the rag on the bush.Church is out.Thats all she wrote. Many people rush from one birthday to another without actually enjoying the journey. Hes got a hitch in his gitalong.Sick as a dog passing peach pits.All stove up.Im so sick Id have to get better to die.Sore as a boil.Her hoppers busted.As full of pains as an old window.Ive got the green apple nasties.He looks like death warmed over.So sick he needs two beds.Pitiful as a three-legged dog. (Say what? Showing search results for "Texas Birthday" sorted by relevance. 2. When the passions have relaxed their hold, you may have escaped, not from one master but from many." Pope John XXIII: "Men are like wine. Otherwise, you can follow and tag me on social media so I can see you using them in action: Facebook:Stephanie Craig History Fangirl. Wishing you a texas sized birthday. Hes on a first-name basis with the bottom of the deck.So crooked that if he swallowed a nail hed spit up a corkscrew.So crooked you cant tell from his tracks if hes coming or going.He knows more ways to take your money than a roomful of lawyers.Crooked as a dogs hind leg.Crooked as the Brazos.Slicker than a slop jar.More twists than a pretzel factory.Crooked as a barrel of fish hooks.So crooked he has to unscrew his britches at night.Shes more slippery than a pocketful of pudding.Hes slicker than a boiled onion.I wouldnt trust him any farther than I can throw him. 116 Images. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Bday.'. One day, behind a general store in Central Texas, a firearms instructor in a wide-brimmed cowboy hat reached for the butt of his holster as I approached him for an interview. Kathleen Kent, Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. Jos R. Ralat is Texas Monthlys taco editor, writing about tacos and Mexican food. AS AN AMAZON AFFILIATE, WE EARN FROM QUALIFYING PURCHASES, 70+ Interesting and Fun Facts about Texas, 21 Best Things to do in Sugar Land, Texas, 13 Best Things to do at Inks Lake State Park, Texas. Shes frying size.Hes knee-high to a grasshopper.Hed have to stand up to look a rattler in the eye.About as big as the little end of nothing.Half as big as a minute.No bigger than moles on a chigger.Scrawny as Ace Reid cattle.Nothing between the horns and hooves but hide.Thin as a bars ear.Thin as a gnats whisker.Thin as store-bought thread.Thin as Depression soup.Thin as a fiddle string.Thin as a rake and twice as sexy.Flat as a fritter.Scarce-hipped.So skinny she has to stand twice to make a shadow.So skinny you could give her a Big Red and use her as a thermometer.So skinny she shades herself under the clothesline. I thought it was a joke. the Texanist, is a staff writer. Hope your year is better than those ears! Scarce as hens teeth.Scarce as grass around a hog trough.Scarce as rain barrels. If that aint a fact, Gods a possum.You can take that to the bank.You can hang your hat on it.You can bet the farm on it.Hes so honest you could shoot craps with him over the phone.If I say a hen dips snuff, you can look under her wing for the can. May your birthday be as sweet as you are. I wrestle with these questions all the time. He could fall up a tree.Couldnt ride a nightmare without falling out of bed.He couldnt knock a hole in the wind with a sackful of hammers.So bad at farming he couldnt raise Cain.He couldnt hit the floor if he fell out of bed.Handy as hip pockets on a hog.Worthless as teats on a bull.Worthless as a sidesaddle on a sow.Not worth spit.He couldnt organize a pissing contest in a brewery.Useless as two buggies in a one-horse town.He could screw up a two-car funeral.Tie a quarter to it and throw it away, and you can say you lost something.Hes got no more chance than a June bug in the chicken coop.Hes a day late and a dollar short.He cant win for losing.Hes sucking hind teat.I need that like a tomcat needs a trousseau.Shes itching for something she wont scratch for.Why close the barn door after the horses are out?No more good than an eyeless needle.Like warming up leftover snow.Like pushing a wheelbarrow with rope handles.Like sweet-talking the water out of the well. As dark as the inside of a wolf.Dark as coffin air.Dark as a pocket.Dark as a cow.Dark as a blue norther.Dark as the devils riding boots.Dark as truck-stop coffee. you got a problem. Have a wonderful birthday. "Moscow mules and sweet tea.". Booth Tarkington The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. Looking for famous Texas quotes, Texas sayings, and Texas one liners? You may all go to Hell, and I will go to Texas -Davy Crockett, Texas is neither southern nor western. Funny 60th Birthday Quotes. Cant dance, never could sing, and its too wet to plow.I could sit still for that.You cant beat that with a stick. I wouldnt trust him. Texas is an obsession. If that aint a fact, Gods a possum. Happy Birthday! You know exactly what you're doing. -Stephen F. Austin, I must say as to what I have seen of Texas, it is the garden spot of the world. They dream big dreams and think big thoughts, because there is nothing to hem them in. Conrad Hilton, No matter where you go in East Texas, Deep East Texas is always about twenty miles further in than wherever you are. Markham Shaw Pyle. Funny Birthday Cake Quotes. Looks like hell with everyone out to lunch.Out where the buses dont run. Big Tex welcomed 3,959,058 visitors to Fair Park during the exposition, the largest attendance ever for an American state fair and the longest fair in American history. May your smile get brighter with each passing year. A myriad of only the sweetest birthday quotes that we could find! -Texas Department of Transportation. No place like Texas, my home, sweet home. Willie Nelson, You can go to hell, and I will go to Texas Davy Crockett, Id rather be a fencepost in Texas than the king of Tennessee. Chris Wall, A Texan outside of Texas is a foreigner. John Steinbeck, Screw you, were from Texas. Ray Wylie Hubbard, If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell General Philip Henry Sheridan, The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous, and likable. Wish you a memorable day and an adventurous year, Happy birthday. Independent as a hog on ice.I dont know you from Adams off ox.Thick as the dew on Dixie.Thick as fleas on a farm dog.Thats two different buckets of possums.Things are going to hell in a handbasket.Come hell or high water.Lord willing and the creek dont rise.I dont care if it harelips the governor.Serious as the business end of a .45.Baptists and Johnson grass are taking over.Hes so slow he could gain weight walking.Out like Lotties eye. Wishing a happy birthday to my beautiful wife, who never ceases to make each day the greatest! Top Nashville Sayings for Instagram. He often speaks highly of himself but does not follow through with his actions. - The US death toll from . Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." Check out these belated birthday wishes if you're looking to make it up to your friend whose. These are among the most empowering quotes for turning 25. Happy birthday! -Rosemary Kent, At the risk of descending to unscientific generalizations, 90 percent of Texans give the other 10 percent a bad name. It's your 60th birthday! So whether youre looking for travel inspiration or Texas Instagram captions or Facebook statuses, here are my favorite Texas quotes! That is truer than true! See more ideas about birthday greetings, birthday, greetings. I wish everyone the world over had the dominating spirit that motivates Texans. Billy Clayton. Find Texas road trip ideas and itineraries. Happy birthday." If a trip around the world cost a dollar, I couldnt get to the Oklahoma line.Hes so broke hes busted all Ten Commandments.Poor as a lizard-eating cat.Hasnt got a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of.So poor I had a tumbleweed as a pet.I ate so many armadillos when I was young, I still roll up into a ball when Ihear a dog bark.So poor we had to fertilize the sills before we could raise the windows.Poor as sawmill rats.Hes broke as a stick horse.Hes too poor to pay attention.So poor the wolf wont even stop at their door.So poor their Sunday supper is fried water.Too poor to paint, too proud to whitewash. Leave them blank to get signed up. Brave as the first man who ate an oyster.Brave as a bigamist.Brave enough to eat in a boomtown cafe.Hes double-backboned.Hes got more guts than you could hang on a fence.Hed shoot craps with the devil himself.Shed charge hell with a bucket of ice water. To me old age is 15 years older than I am. I will never be able to forget the support that you have given me. Rich, poor, Panhandle, Gulf, city, country, Texas is the obsession, the proper study, and the passionate possession of all Texans. John Steinbeck, Theres a freedom you begin to feel the closer you get to Austin, Texas. Willie Nelson, During the cold war, West Berlin was an exclave a tiny outpost of liberalism surrounded by people who wanted to crush it. Texas is an obsession. happy birthday wishes little bunny svg png eps cut files typography. He was asked on his last birthday earlier this year his secret to longevity. On your Birthday, my dear sister, I wish I can go back in time and slap myself every time I hurt you. Honestly, there are so many funny sayings about Texas that you would get sore as a boil after reading them all. Texas gains her second RIIC Skill at Elite 2. Celebrate one more turn around the sun with the collection of quotes about birthdays below. Back then the Panhandle had a panhandle. "Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me a lot of myself from one fabulous chick to another!". His breaths so strong you could hang out the washing on it.That coffees so strong itll put hair on your chest.Coffee so strong itll walk into your cup.Coffee so strong itll raise a blood blister on a boot.Hes so strong he makes Samson look sensitive. George Meredith on counting your years. It may be your birthday, but you are a gift to me. The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. )Why shear a pig?Dont snap my garters.A guilty fox hunts his own hole.Quit hollering down the rain.Dont rile the wagon master.Better to keep your mouth shut and seem a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.The barn doors open and the mules trying to run. When you've been there and done that, this is the Texas saying you'd use. Hell eat anything that dont eat him first. The Ultimate History Travel Blog Since 2015, Last Updated on: 22nd August 2021, 01:20 am. Always drink upstream from the herd. Hes got a big hole in his screen door.Shes one bubble off plumb.Shes one brick shy of a load.Shes two sandwiches short of a picnic.Hes a few pickles short of a barrel.Theres a light or two burned out on his string.Hes missing a few buttons off his shirt.The porch lights on but no ones home.Hes lost his vertical hold.Hes overdrawn at the memory bank.I hear you clucking, but I cant find your nest.Shes got too many cobwebs in the attic.Crazy as a bullbat.Crazy as Larrabees calf. 257 points. Lauren Larson is a former features writer and editor. Noisy as two skeletons dancing on a tin roof.Noisy as a restless mule in a tin barn.Noisier than cats making kittens.Noisier than a cornhusk mattress.Louder than Grandpas Sunday tie.He called his hogs all night. Its especially important to get travel insurance if youll be hanging out in cities like Dallas or San Antonio where tourists can easily become the targets of pickpockets. You will also find plenty of Texas sayings about being from here or living here. -Rosemary Kent, Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention. History Fangirl is a participant in the Amazon Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. May your birthday be as beautiful as your soul is lovely. Hes such a liar hed beat you senseless and tell God you fell off a horse.He was born sorry.Hes so low hed steal the widows ax.Hed steal his mamas egg money.Hed steal the flowers off his grandmas grave.Hed steal the nickels off a dead mans eyes.No-account fellow.Bitter as gall.Tough as nickel steak.Tough as stewed skunk.Tough as whang.Mean as a mama wasp.Friendly as a bramble bush.She makes a hornet look cuddly.A she-bear in satin.Rough as a cob.He looks like a sheep-killing dog.He lies like a tombstone.He wouldnt scratch his own mamas fleas.Hes got horns holding up his halo.Were not on borrowing terms.Youre so low you have to look up to see hell.Hes so low you couldnt put a rug under him.He jumped on me with all four feet.A real revolving son of a bitch.
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